i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
Just spent a extra 20 minutes on the phone with the lady from unemployment talking about how to make the best brownies.
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
So hungover im counting my own breaths to make sure im not dead. The odds hurt.
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
I didn't wake up drunk this year...I must be getting soft
Yeah I guess quad-fisting Miller Lites just isn't as effective as it used to be
Masturbated furiously for a half hour; ate a fistful of chocolate, then took a nap. Woke up and finished wrapping presents. I've got this holiday thing down.
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
Randomize
