If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
Bitch looked at my dick and said "I thought they called you horsecock, I'm already disappointed"
I told you that line would get her home never said it was a good idea
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
I'm gonna write a song for the kids called "you're systematically killing your mother". In it I will explain that my recent hypertension and increase in smoking is due to them being dicks
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
I feel like it should at least be like a "hey look I'm actually fine that I drunkenly gave you my virginity!" friend request.
lol hangovers are for mortals.
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
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