i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
I don't even have to sign up for karaoke at duncans anymore. The karaoke ppl just sign me up themselves. Without my consent. I also sang stacys mom to some lady named Stacy who's mom died yesterday.
We've reached that awkward stage of the relationship where he's in love with me when he's drunk, but sober him is still afraid of commitment.
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
Randomize
