Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
I walked up to a girl in a bar, and all I was capable of doing was taking my beer and bumping it up to hers. While doing so, all I could say was "Bud Light". She walked away.
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
Why did my little sister call me from your phone this morning?
Things like this can't be explained over text man
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
Randomize
