i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
I need Jameson.
Yea? How do you think I feel? Your job during the delivery is to keep that flask ready. The moment our kid pops out, I'm taking a shot.
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
Randomize
