I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
sitting next to michael phelps in the airport. wonder if he's carrying...
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
Honey, I don't care how "classic you" this is. It's not gonna matter if we can't find you in the morning.
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
And then you asked me why my legs were so thick and started measuring them with a ruler
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
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