My drunk dialing habit needs to go. My drunk habit can stay though.
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
I just shot gunned a beer for your birthday alone because you're too hungover at midnight to get out of bed. I'm not sure which of us is the bigger loser
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
Randomize
