I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
The reason halloween exists is because it's not cheating if you're wearing a costume.
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
Try explaining "the nature of your relationship" to a cop when your fuck buddy vandalized your car. Priceless.
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
whose parrot is this?
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
Randomize
