he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
Consider yourself lucky. If I ever run into my ex, all I'll be able to think is, "I let you pee on me and lead me around on a leash."
He could only go see Deadpool without his girl if he was black-out drunk... because spoilers. They're the perfect couple.
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
Randomize
