I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
Now that I'm single, I like to think of myself as in a relationship with Taco Bell.
Got in a bar fight defending Prince. Thought you ought to know. He gets his dick sucked cooking eggs for breakfast.
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
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