Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
rhymes with "ouble enetration"
she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
You texted me "Americans are sad" and "chicken coop disaster" without any further explanation.
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
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