All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
Last night did I take a piece of pizza out of your hand and then proceed to eat it?
Twice...
Life is my bitch right now. The bouncers tried to carry me out of the club, but everyone thought I was crowd surfing so everyone carried me BACK IN. Winning as fuck.
How is there no taco emoji?! That's some bullshit.
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
He drank an entire six pack, past out on the guest bed, woke up around 4AM, lifted & dropped my leg, then peed on the corner of the bed. When I told him where he was pissing he said "it's all the same babe."
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
Randomize
