Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
i caught myself talking to a pigeon about my yeast infection.
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
Turns out the bartender I fucked is the bar owner. WHY THE FUCK DO I PAY FOR HALF MY DRINKS? IS SEX NOT TIP ENOUGH?
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
A seagull just tried to steal my cellphone
I am the most hated person in hoboken. Ive been doing drunken cake boss impressions down the street for the past 20 mins.
Being drunk at Chick-fil-A is a dystopian experience
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