marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
My phone keeps autocorrecting to the "st. Natty's Day Parade" and I'm completely okay with that
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
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