"it" just moved
I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
He kept saying the best defense against a lion is to punch it in the throat.
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
I think I am calling out of work due to a hangover. I'm 96% sure there ISN'T tampon stuck inside me.
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
N I'm drinking this invention I call "do-it-fluid" I had a bottle of vodka that was 3/4th empty, so I put in 1/4th rum, 1/4th tequila, 1/4th whisky... it's definitely the worst idea ever..
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
yeah, you could tell they werent used to the strange things that i say. they were all outright shocked when i told one guy i hoped someone kidnapped him and stretched his dickhole over a fire hydrant
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
Randomize
