There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
i just thanked the atm machine for giving me cash
remember about an hour ago when i told you i was never drinking again? i may or may not be mixing malibu with caprisun. just saying.
Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
I'm posted up in the bathroom at au bon pain, high as balls, experimenting with eyeshadow combinations and listening to 90s jlo. The girl in the stall next to me just plopped a big one and I laughed, hope I ruined her day
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
The guy I brought home last night made a speedy escape while I was in the bathroom. The only trace I found of his flight was a lone sock on the stairs.... It was like a whorey low budget Cinderella
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Randomize
