According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
I am 95% sure I just heard my cat say "What are you doing home? It's Saturday night."
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
Randomize
