He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
Latest life lesson : don't accidentally send an "I nutted on her tramp stamp" text to your tattoo-less girlfriend. Oops.
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
He found a way to charmingly ask me for a threesome and when I said no he made it sound like he was even happier. He's a fucking wizard
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
I'm sitting in the hospital with him while he's still half drunk with a busted leg because he thought he could do parkour off a rock
Randomize
