Did you call me this morning? I was really drugged up and don't remember.
Have a good day. My vagina shrank.
i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
Is it weird I updated my facebook status from my phone while I had explosive diarrhea in my boss's private bathroom?
That would be awkward if he commented on your status
i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
In the airport and just saw a little boy put his head in his mother's crotch... I guess he took a whiff because he backed up and said loudly, "mommy your pee-pee is stinky!"
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
wow bdsm is so cute
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
Randomize
