we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
No one will ever find true happiness until they have gotten stoned and taken off the bra they've been wearing all day.
You, my dear friend, are a poet of the deep mental longings of women worldwide.
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
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