Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
Doug is wearing your sports bra fyi
eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
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