Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
The bosnian sent me a sext with his dick next to a comcast remote. It went up to the "stop" button. Ironic and appropriate. Grab your remote and imagine it.
You've ruined television for me.
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
arnt you supposed to become a mature adult when you move out of your parents house?
Moving out doesnt mean I'm mature, it means I can make pancakes and bacon at 3 in the morning and no one can judge me.
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
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