Three words: puerto rican gang bang
i'm in his bathroom *freshening up* and he not only has a hairdryer... but a straightener. get me out of here... NOW
just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
I'm in a subway station watching a tranny do her makeup. This is like watching a unicorn giving birth.
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
do nipples grow back?
Randomize
