Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
I am in the hospital with a broken wrist because a guy told me that if I punched him it "wouldn't hurt." it hurt. me. Thank you 11 jello shots.
My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
He was like an artic tracker. Walked ten paces from the tree, then 15 paces from the mailbox, dug down in the snow, and pulled up the case of beer he hid from his parents out there. It tasted like ice cold success.
my favorite homeless guy just told me I drive like Batman, achievement unlocked
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
Yes sir I did. I'll be there with a guest. And no, my date won't be an escort.
Well if that changes tell the escort to bring cocaine.
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
Randomize
