You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
I just rubbed my dick on something in your apartment. Can you guess what?
This morning my doorman told me it was an accomplishment for me to be standing and conscious after last night.
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
He deliberately gets me high because he knows I fuck better and then I make food for two. I don't know if I should feel mad or proud of him for thinking that far.
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Randomize
