I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
I drank it, and now my boss keeps hitting me in the face with beams of light.
Tripping at your desk probably isn't the best plan you've had.
In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
in the morning i found her name, number and address on one of the empty pizza boxes. also said "ps. if you find my shoes please mail to me."
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
There's a skateboard on the patio and all the chips are gone. The note on the fridge says 'don't buy cheese'. Stop letting her go outside.
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
He said he discovered the mysteries of the universe inside an orange... I want whatever he was on.
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
Just showed my drunk fiancé where I got circumcised, she's been crying for twenty minutes.
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
The blonde cop looked at my license and told me I better have be home when her shift ends
I hate you
Randomize
