You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
I woke up and my clothes were soaked in the shower and I was wearing a Ghostbusters uniform. I'm shocked she hasn't left me yet.
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
I have six drafts of messages to you that just say "blood" and I have no idea where they came from.
So he texted me two hours ago to tell me he just took two hits of acid. Now he's asking me if it's possible for a house to breathe.
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.
Stop calling me, Mom. I'm in his closet. You're gonna blow my cover and I'm about to catch this lying SOB.
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
that may or may not have been my penis.
Randomize
