We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
sober me hid the cigs from drunk me. sober me is a tricky bitch.
your goal of the night was to unlock your iPhone with your nipple. You're going places.
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
The only alcohol in the house was a bottle of Sherry. It's like cough syrup that I shotgunned off Strawberry Shortcake's ass.
It's embarrassing enough people in my life are aware of the ridiculous things that happen to me. I don't think we need to get the whole world involved.
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
She got called into work early but she left me a note that had directions to her roommates stash of weed on top of a two bacon and egg mcmuffins. I think I win.
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
Randomize
