That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
Why are there so many fucking Lambchop puppets hidden around my house?!
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
I'm eating cereal out of a cocktail shaker. That kind of blizzard.
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
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