I'm going to get drunk on champagne by myself.
Oh no wait my cat's here. Thank god for a second there I sounded really sad.
sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
Randomize
