Hemmingway ran to paris to avoid going to the university of illinois and becoming a doctor. It was there he developed a drinking problem. I need a plane ticket.
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
Sign she's a keeper: "I would rather be late to brunch than waste a perfectly good boner."
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
I think I'm destined to be the stoner version of one of those successful but emotionally unavailable characters Sandra Bullock always plays in movies
I just changed all my morning alarms to wake me up with different Jesse McCartney songs telling me I'm beautiful. Would you believe I'll be 25 this year?
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
Randomize
