Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
He told me the color of his piss. Worst. First date. Ever.
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
The shit I just took was my body's way of telling me bourbon and mixed nuts aren't an appropriate dinner. Well played, colon. WELL. PLAYED.
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
There was just a girl standing next to me on the train, wasted, wearing only one shoe. I so wanted to pat her on the shoulder and say "oh honey, we've all been there"
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking rosé, bitch!
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
Pregnancy has ruined porn for me. I can't watch a hot chick get it on without being jealous of her perfectly waxed shit. I can't even see my shit.
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