I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
Did you push me into the oil wrestling or did I elect to do it?
You said you wanted to do it, but I gave you a friendly nudge.
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
I can't answer my phone I'm at work
I slept with a male stripper last night. Priorities
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
Wait an hour then go and untie him. Bring toilet paper and some spare underwear. Want anything from Starbucks?
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
You like that 95% of the time I masterbate I think bout you?
Just wanna know what I can I do to earn the other 5%
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
Randomize
