one word: firstdatebathroomanal
so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
The first clue should've been that he literally had shit in his hair. How does that even happen?
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
I got to masturbate in Rome in a gorgeous hotel room. Don't try and tell me I need a boyfriend
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
I walked in on him jerking it to videos of UFC fighters. The most awkward part: he didn't stop when I walked in.
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
Randomize
