went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
I told my mom happy mother's day then rubbed my belly and said "Oh, and happy grandmother's day too..." She started sobbing. You were right, that wasn't the best way to tell her.
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
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