matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
im watching my roommate bang this girl. she doesn't look like she's any good, because he has a bored look on his face...
I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
please don't ironically join a cult
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