I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
I now have a bottom rung on my kissing scale. Like I can say "Well. On a scale of Matt to Braxton he was probably a Zach." It's the little things.
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
I just used my vibrator to scratch my back. This being single shit is for the birds
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
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