Those balls look pretty dangerous.
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
I found a phone book at the party and started calling everyone with my last name asking if they wanted to form a club. I'm meeting one for brunch tomorrow...
The condom broke. Its OK tho, turns out I was just humping her thigh for 20 minutes. Jager dude, Jager.
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
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