I just woke up and realized I puked in my boxers WTF.
You stay classy.
The worst part was I forgot until I tried to put them on.
If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
i woke up this morning next to my toilet covered in an attempt to make blanket of toilet paper
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
You got up in the middle of a sentence, puked, came out and poured another glass of wine and continued your story.
Randomize