I think I just saw someone hide a body.
TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
I went to the strip club tonight. I had never gone, and in a panic I gave the dancer giving me a lap dance a handshake and introduced myself. Redefines business casual.
So as you were leaving, you leaned on the table too much and 3 glasses slid and fell to the floor. You then looked at me and said "To be honest, glass isnt that expensive anyways" and stumbled out of the bar.
Your grandma found me sleeping in my car this morning, and she wanted me to tell you she was going to church... Also, last night was amazing.
My boss asked me to pass over one of my business cards and instead I had condoms fall out of my wallet, how’s your day going??
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
Randomize
