It was one time. Now I have to constantly remind her my name is Jessica not Jizzica.
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
Notice: I will be intoxicated and in your area this evening. To unsubscribe from my sexual solicitation list, reply 'fuck off'.
Hey, if I can't get it and you're still alive, can you get the glass out of my foot? Happy Sunday.
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
He was imitating a sprinkler when he started puking. Hence- vomit sprinkler. Some people just can't handle their tequila
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
Randomize
