So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
I gambled and lost. Had to pull into a funeral home to clean up with a copy of my resume.
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
Dude, just found out there's a monster in a video game named after me. No more dating nerds.
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
Know what the best part of waking up for work after a drinking vacation is? It's an easy question. Nothing. Nothing is the best part of that.
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
Wanna get business drunk and go play golf?
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
Randomize
