I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
Did you ever notice the eye of Sauron looks like Lindsay Lohan's vagina?
If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
What are you doing St Patricks day? I'm banned from all work parties with open bar ever since the cinco de mayo party that I dumped a drink on my co-workers head and played air guitar on my boss' ankle cast.
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
Vodka?
Forever.
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Randomize
