I would dunk an oreo in her breast milk
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
You kept flirting with some guy while I was throwing up on the sidewalk, and I screamed YOU DON'T LIKE MEN
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
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