i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
A stripper just got mad at me for saying goddammit. She's in no position to lecture me on morality
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
My roommate just caught me cleaning a tostitos queso jar with my hand and eating it. He didn't judge. Bonding moment.
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
I don't want my vagina anymore.
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
don't worry dude i have your phone, text me when youre gonna come get it
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