Operation Purity has been aborted
The bartender just told me he would have me face down in his pillow by the end of the night. I hate when you make me go to gay clubs.
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
"I'm a professor to university students" I say as I realize I have a nipple piercing that I have no memory of getting
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
Randomize
