I'm drunk at The Bachelor casting call in Cleveland
I cherish every text you send me
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
I wouldn't accept the money so he folded the $20 bill into an origami puppy and left a note saying "Not blowjob money"
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
Your "whiskey dick" is glorious but also terrifying
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
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