how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
I woke up and watched my kitten suck on his nipple. Way too hungover to intervene. He thought it was me, so he just giggled and mumbled "mmm girl."
Seriously? God I hope he wasn't lactating.
......... Poor kitty
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
When she introduced her friend to me I shook his hand and told him not to leave his ugly vest at my apartment in the morning. He took it off and bought me a shot.
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
dude pick up your phone
i cant. im high and theres a wild turkey in my backyard. wouldnt miss this moment for anything
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
Ok, as his sister I didn't tell you this but he's very familiar with pregnancy symptoms. So next time he calls you fat freak him the hell out by asking if your ankles look swollen.
Randomize
