he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
Well, I'm eating cake, watching wedding videos of people I don't know, and crying. Clearly I'm a vision of mental health today
Call 911 I'm faking my own death so this fat chick leaves my room
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
Partial kegs from last night are currently in my bathtub, which leads me to 2 questions: 1. What are you doing tonight? 2. Can I use your shower?
Well, I found my bra. It's in my glove compartment with a half-eaten Snickers bar and a Jesus bookmark.
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
HE FINALLY TEXT ME AND CALLED ME BY MY TWITTER NAME STAND BY FOR THE WEDDING INVITE, BRIDESMAID
Hey, do you know the person who woke me up last night at 1 in the morning yelling and being carried through the courtyard?
That was me Mom...
YOU'RE NOT THE ONE BEING EVISCERATED BY YOUR OWN UTERUS SO GET SOME DAMN SLEEP YOU FOOL!
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