Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
My boyfriend texted me as I was texting some random hookup from last night. His text: "Morning baby" My response: "Your cum is in my hair"
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
MEET ME OUTSIDE YOUR HOUSE IN THREE MINUTES. BE DRUNK. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
My lunch = taste testing salsas for A&P. They gave me a free 64oz grape juice as a thank you. So, now we have something to drink in the house. So while you are spending all the money on breakfast rolls and pizza for lunch, I'm cigaretteless and whoring myself for tablespoons of salsa and free juice.
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
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